I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I want her autograph on my taint
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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