Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
