oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
