it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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