you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
