Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
