Sry I called you an 8
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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