It's like God shit irony all over that family
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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