I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He did a backflip because drugs
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