Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
