Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
