the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
