What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
