four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
