my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
