i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
