I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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