Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
