I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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