yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
