Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
