I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
