Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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