dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
