if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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