I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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