My sheets look like a crime scene.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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