It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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