Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
