Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
