i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
