I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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