"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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