he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
