i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
