glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
