she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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