i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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