The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
