we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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