I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All I want is dick and wine.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
