that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
