Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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