a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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