just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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