2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
id be glad to
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
