i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
