i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
