I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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