I accidentally had phone sex last night
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
